Maurice - the poet of the people

Featured Poem

McPoem

This is my super-sized poem
It costs 49¢ more
But it comes with bigger fries and this super-huge drink.
Nevermind that the poem isn’t really that good
It doesn’t even rhyme
But the thingy that holds the fries is big
And that drink cup — oh that drink cup —
You need a super-huge SUV with super-huge cup holders to hold this super cup
A plastic hot tub with a straw

No, the poem’s not that good
This line has processed cheez food
And this line has sodium benzoate in it
It leaves a funny taste in my mouth

9/26/02

Maurice on the DNC Ticket?
A reader, Hyroshi from Niigata, Japan sent is this interesting sighting of the poet with the Gores from the Washington Post.com site.

eMaurice
In a shocking change of communication habits, Maurice has gotten his own e-mail account. While he cant respond to the hundreds of messages he gets each week, he might respond to yours. Click here to e-mail Maurice.

Go Cheese Racer!
We also received an exciting photo of Maurice cheese racing at a Dutch Cheese Festival. Go Maurice!

The Poet of Tomorrow
Some have asked me, "Where is Maurice in this time when our country yearns for wisdom, meaning and rhyme?" Others have cried out "Maurice, we need you!"

Maurice feels the nation's pain and has turned his attention to working with our young and emerging poets to find comfort and meaning in these turbulent times. Please see the work of his young protégé Aidan Branney (age 6) and his poem I Hold in My Hand (requires Adobe Acrobat).

Fruit of the Plume Returns!
Following its publication in 1995, Maurice's collection of poems Fruit of the Plume sold out almost immediately. The collection contained many of Maurice's classic works plus new poems, all of which are thoroughly annotated and explained by leading poetry scholars and critics. Maurice himself recently requested that we make an electronic version of Fruit of the Plume available here. Published in as an Adobe Acrobat file (get free Acrobat Reader here, if needed), the e-version contains all of the poems, annotations and artwork of the 1995 original (it cannot however be printed per Maurice's attorneys). Click the links below to see it today!

Fruit of the Plume Deluxe (full version with artwork, 2.1Mb)
Fruit of the Plume Lite (lite version without artwork, 460k)

Controversial "Lemming Letters" Published Online
During the preparation of Fruit of the Plume, the annotated collection of Maurice's poems, our two poetry critics often got into heated debates. In particular, Drs. Bartholomew and Cowpens had a blistering exchange of letters on the topic of lemmings. We are pleased to make this vitriolic exchange of rodent scholarship available for the first time online. Click here to read the letters.

Sumo Fans Rejoice
Maurice and Dry Crunchy Productions are pleased to allow vistors the chance to hear Song of the Dainty Sumo (mp3 format, for help with mp3 software, click here). This fabulous orchestration of Maurice's Song of the Dainty Sumo was composed and performed by the elusive genius Erik Hockman, with lead vocals perfomed by Steven E. Einspahr.